Getting back our rings later tonight. We had the shop etch something on it post-wedding. Thought hard what words to put around our fingers. Should it be our names? A promise? Something that’s got to do with love and marriage? We didn’t want to risk cliché. It’s a life-long thing, and for sure the white gold will stay on beyond us. We decided on our wedding date as our best choice: 10242010. Such a great day, so we can’t be wrong if these rings are to remind of Forever. But oh, since we’re in Mandarin land, we better cross our fingers that the numbers turn out right.
Just married!
I can’t even spell the name of this place. Outside this fancy suite, the night is really daunting for a suddenly functionally illiterate. Scarier is tomorrow’s (after-training) lunch: gotta eat with chopsticks properly or make an ass of a first impression on my new team. Oh I have another month or so to pick up a few Mandarin words before I relocate here for good!
After a long while, I just cleaned my bedroom: wiping out layers of dust from my bedside cabinet, reshuffling books, and getting rid of such junk as dried-out pens, expired batteries, old receipts. If life is judged by the material stuff we’ve accumulated, then so far I certainly won’t have much on the line but books and lecture photocopies.
Looking at all those crumpled papers on my trash, I realized that in less than a year my self-description proved to be already obsolete. I am:
a. No longer employed full-time, thus temporarily freed from cubicle culture since February;
b. Done with my thesis last month and joining graduation in a couple of days;
c. About to relocate to Taiwan in a month or so for a new job;
d. Set to get married to my girlfriend later this year.
It’s quite heady how my profile suddenly required a revision. But in book terms, this means character development and a turn to the next chapter…to get the story arc better.
Girlfriend and I had a meltdown over my job discontent. In our last couple of Skypes, my trivial complaints ended up with us fighting. But last night, she said she’s just too tired and drained out with my whining about work, coworkers, commuting, and the littlest shit. Of course this made me angry, especially when she cited her challenges overseas. She pointed out how awful of a crybaby/kill joy boyfriend I am. Her concerns over my incessant job searching were rightly valid with our plans to settle down soon and all. I also understood how she didn’t take my cathedral-over-providing concept of labor too well. I was too stubborn to consider her fears. Call it hubris that I feel something bigger is in store for me out there. Maybe her playing devil’s advocate would help me though. Anyway over at Slate, I chanced upon a project by two women writers who resolved to not complain for a month. In the spirit of reconciliation, I am also trying out this experiment. And hopefully do it for the long haul.
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Girlfriend popped me this funny YouTube video knowing that I’m a job search addict. Every other day I browse career websites for new postings despite being already auto-subscribed to “writer”, “content”, and “communication” keywords. She even checked on me a while ago asking if I’m on Jobstreet.
Girlfriend thinks my problem is disposition, not the position I’m in. Greater tolerance for bad management, bad coworkers, and bad case of boredom should temper my work weariness. But my beef with my current full-time really is that it doesn’t provide me with career growth and the chance to contribute to something Bigger (than the corporate bottom line).
Shouldn’t this be remedied by my other commitments though? Sure the contract gig I have for Halogen at least provides me with new portfolio items. Grateful still that my two-hour per day Bank stint satiates my daydream of sociocivic involvement. However, the tedium imposed by cubicle life on the better part of my days, to be dramatic about it, drains my soul.
Then again there’s no stopping me from jumping ship - except that I have signed a training bond to the tune of around 4 pay slips from being sent to the US early this year. I’m waiting for January to at least halve this price tag on my freedom. What scares the shit out of me is devolving into this vicious cycle all over again after taking on a new job.
Now that’s time for rehab. Not!
Time for Friday status reports and I’m too sleepy to remember how my week went except that I had to shuffle between two offices and back to catch up with meetings three nights in a row. The fatigue is not about working hard: majority of the time I spend in my full-time involves surfing the Net and staring idly at my computer screen. Which is just fine too since I get my adrenaline pump from each minute of Bank work. Pay off: I broke into a personal savings milestone! Trade off: I’m a walking zombie, overloaded memory. But there’d be good times out of it: like this trip to the Tamshui Fishermen’s Wharf I had with girlfriend two weeks ago.
Girlfriend called me a cyborg because of my single-minded focus on work-related stuff these past few days. It soon erupted into a full-blown fight over Skype. We’ve since made up, and next time I’d be more aware whenever business matters intrude into my private, intimate realm. Sure she might be hormonal but I realized that girlfriend time is girlfriend time, period.
The four-day weekend was over before I knew it—I still have some backlog but I’m thankful that I was able to catch up with sleep. I was all groggy from sleep debt last week. Heavy rains flooded the school campus so I wasn’t able to meet with my adviser last Saturday.
What’s to be a lost afternoon I used instead to go with my family to register for the 2010 Philippine elections. Come voting day my ballot may be insignificant, but it would be for an ideal, for a better future. These work stuff I do is about it, for better days ahead with my loved ones.
Cyborgs may belong to the future, but they don’t understand or care about the Idea that birthed it.
Back from Taiwan on Tuesday. Awesome weekend: we visited Taipei 101, shared home-cooked meals, and mostly cuddled. Since then everything’s been a blur: I started work on the media monitoring stuff as soon as I deplaned. I really enjoy doing it though - even wearing my new leather shoes!
My duffel bag is already packed: I’m catching a morning flight tomorrow to Taiwan. I’m excited to spend the weekend with my girlfriend. She’s currently marinating chicken for our Adobo lunch tomorrow. We’ve planned to visit Taipei 101 and that huge ferris wheel. And possibly buy leather shoes too because today I signed a contract with the Bank. As soon as I return to Manila I’m starting a new chapter in my career. The break I’ve always wanted: someday I’d like transition to development communication. Anyhoo, what I’d love now is a power hug from my Pandan!
